Monday, April 2, 2012

Monday Musings

This past week was really tough. I was sick, which always causes my depression to kick into high gear. All I want to do when I'm sick and when I'm depressed is to pull the covers over my head and not come out til I feel better. That works fairly well when I'm sick. However, depression can take quite a while to subside to 'normal' levels. (What is normal nowadays, anyway?)

Everyone says not to isolate during these times. So hard, because that's all I want to do. It's true, though. When I'm left alone with my thoughts, I tend to fall even deeper into the darkness. My mind seems to want to feed me all the worst possible thoughts to keep me down. (Don't you hate it when your own organs turn on you?)

So I reach out, because I know I have to. Something as simple as writing on my Facebook wall:

Please tell me it gets better. Even if you have to lie.

Friends come to the rescue. Encouraging words lift me up. I was surprised, actually. Not that I don't think I have good friends. It's just that I don't usually take to Facebook to air my psychoses, since it always seemed to me like that would trivialize them. But just like anything else, it's simply a connector, a way to reach out. Someone was kind enough to post this for me:

I'm so thankful for that. It gives me a little peek at the light at the end of the tunnel. And it gives me enough strength to move forward one more day. A day at a time is all we can really do, anyway. If I look too much into the future I start to suffocate. So for today, for this moment, really, I'll muster the strength to put one foot in front of the other. And then do it again. And again.

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