Thursday, July 10, 2008

Blue's Worst Nightmare

Hi, my name is Blue. I am a four-year-old blue-colored American Pit Bull Terrier (APBT). (Ralph made me change my description from just a "blue pit bull" because he thinks people will think that's a specific breed. He's picky about that kind of stuff.) Heather is letting me write today's post after what she did to me yesterday.

For those of you who are coming over from Sincerely Fro' Me to You, she wanted me to let you know that she is not cheating. These pictures include her in an outfit that will never see crinkle-cut scissors or the inside of a photo album. (Trust me, that's a good thing. I've seen it. I'm glad I'm color blind.)

Now normally, I love my people more than anything else in the world. They are actually concerned that I am one day going to snap my spine in half from waggling my butt so vigorously when I see them.

Yesterday, though, Heather put my love to the test.

She decided it was time for a bath.

Do I look happy about this?

Can you believe it? Just as I was about to achieve the perfect amount of dirt on my hide, she comes at me with a water hose. She knows I hate the water. I don't care if it is 95° outside (which it was yesterday), I don't find it at all refreshing. And to add insult to injury, she subjected me to the other bane of my existence, the camera.
I know I'm beautiful, but I can only take so much.

We are NOT amused.

At first I just stood there, as I know by now it's best to just ride it out quietly.

And some parts I knew had to be cleaned, like my armpits.
They collect dirt like nobody's business.

(See what I mean about that outfit? Where did she learn to mix patterns like that??)

At one point I tried to sneak away, thinking maybe she'd relent since I was so thoroughly drenched. Nope. Didn't work.

Here she's washing my face because I have an odd bald spot by my left eye that she's worried about. Sheesh! When is this torture going to be over?

Finally, I just gave up and lay down. She was apparently going to torture me until she was good and done, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Afterwards, to make me feel better, she gave me some of the crunchy doggy treats I love so much, so she pretty much redeemed herself. Plus, she washed Coco too, so at least I knew it wasn't just something she did to me to make me feel bad.

Ralph couldn't take pictures of Coco, though, because he had to help Heather wrangle her. This was her first bath outside of the bathtub, and she was not happy about it. She hates water just as much as I do. (I think that's why we get along so well.) Heather only snapped a picture of her afterward. She was still mad so she refused to look at the camera.

But Heather gave her some crunchy treats, too, so she's feeling better now.

In fact, we were both so forgiving that we waited a whole five minutes after our baths before rolling in the dirt again.

Since apparently other people like to take pictures of cruel and unusual things, head on over to We Are THAT Family for more pictures of people in strange clothes doing things that dogs will just never understand.

Oh, and for those of you who would never come to our house because I am such a "vicious" animal, I'm told I'm an ambassador of (to?) my breed. I've even gotten an award. To read more about pit bulls and how great we are, here are a few websites to peruse (ALL of which are AGAINST any kind of animal fighting):

(Bay Area Doglovers Responsible About Pitbulls)

Pit Bull Lovers

The Real Pit Bull

Pit Bull Rescue Central

Advocates for the Underdog

Read this article on how Michael Vic's dogs are getting a second chance.

Owners who know say that the only thing deadly about pit bulls is their gas. I'm afraid I'm guilty of this one. Maybe you don't want to come over to visit...


P.S. He loves you... said...

I'm just glad you didn't bite her for wearing a mixed match outfit...good boy!


World's Greatest Mommy said...

Oh you poor dear! Blue, I know it's hard, but our people have our best intrests at heart.

You are a doll of a doggie!

Happy Mommy said...

Beautiful doggie! My husbands family dog was a pit, she passed away last year at 15, we miss her!

Big Hair Envy said...

Dear Blue,

Just be thankful it's not the '80's. The clothes back then were MUCH worse. Trust me. I wore them.

Love, BHE

We are THAT Family said...

Blue-you have redeemed the pit bull fear I've always had. You're adorable, even if you have foul gas!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

Blue here!

Oops! Deleted my own comment! I'm still new at this typing stuff.

Awww... thanks everybody! It's nice to see that other people feel sorry for me even if Heather doesn't.

You are always welcome in our home, especially if you come bearing doggy treats. And even if you come just bearing a smile, I'll be happy.

I'll even try to control myself and keep from trying to sit in your lap. Heather tells me that 71 pounds is a bit big for a lap dog, but I'm trying to convince her otherwise...

AGSoccerMom said...

One of my brothers had a pit named Misty. I miss her. She was their baby, so human like. She would sit by the table and look the other way because she wasn't allowed to beg. It looked like she was ignoring us. Way too funny.

Tammy said...

You should really encourage your person to match her clothes a little better, and what's with the yellow flip flops. You must teach her better.