Monday, May 4, 2009

Apology to a Grasshopper

Dear Mr. (or Ms.) Grasshopper,

Please accept my sincere apologies for the atrocities that occurred yesterday afternoon in our home on Isabella Drive.

You see, we live in quite a hostile environment on our little ponderosa, and all of the members of the household are expected to help guard the property against invaders. Ninja and Bunny are our officials in the rat patrol (recent body count up to five as of yesterday), and Coco takes care of the gophers. Fat Girl (the turtle) and the fish take care of the mosquito larvae, and even Rhino ate a spider yesterday. Plus, he keeps the hedgehogs at bay for us:

He's quite the killer, that one.

Even the children aren't safe.

Also, as you can tell by Bunny's passive observance in the picture above, everyone around here is expected to fight their own battles.

So you must understand why we did what we did yesterday when we found you trespassing on our territory, and why we didn't come to your rescue when we realized that....


Rosie was hungry.

Please forgive the atrocity of our behavior (or lack thereof). If it helps ease your little grasshopper brain at all, (and help ease our sense of guilt), you have helped continue the circle of death life in our clan, and we have nothing but heaps of gratitude for you and what you have sacrificed for our family.

Heather and the rest of the callous contrite humans in residence

Sir Hop-A-Long
"He was a crunchy good bug."


Crayl said...

You crack me up, but I totally get it. Oh the animal kingdom...

Crayl said...

Just for the record my last word verification was "dearn" and now it's in (ahem)
"This dearn volor pantsuit keeps ridin up on me!"