Someday

One of the young adult novels I read for work is called Criss Cross.  [I think I may have written about this before?]  People seem to either love the book or hate it.  I LOVED it.  While it doesn't have much of a specific, typical plot, the author has an amazing ability to describe the emotions of teenagers that takes me straight back to junior high and high school.  It resonated on a level I thought I'd buried long ago.  It also made me realize how much those emotions and feelings are still a part of me.

One of my favorite parts of the book is when one of the characters, Debbie, is trying to come to terms with being just plain ordinary.  During an "ordinary" evening, she goes to take a shower and takes a look at herself in the mirror, disappointed in what she sees:

Why did she think something good could happen to her?  But then something did.  Something good and mysterious.  It's hard to explain why, but she started to laugh.  She laughed at her fierce naked self, frowning into the mirror.  And she liked the girl who was laughing. 

I've had rare moments like this.  Very rare.  But, oh, they are amazing.  Someday, I hope to be able to like the girl who was laughing more often than just for a fleeting moment or two.  In fact, someday I hope to tattoo that line somewhere on me, so that I can see it when I look in the mirror and remind myself that I am good, too.  I am fine the way I am.  

Except I'd have to have it backwards, so I could see it in my reflection.

Someday.