Not Pushing Daisies, Just Pushing 40

Nope.  Not dead.

Yet.

I did however get one year closer to death recently.  I'm now 38, which can be considered "pushing 40," right?

I spent the day at a spa where I "took the waters" and relaxed, something which was long overdue considering the insanity that is now daily life at our house.  Things have sort of settled down a bit, which may or may not be due to intense therapy, introspection, an entire village (it takes one to raise a kid, dontchaknow) mediators/translators (I don't speak teenager well), cooling-off periods, or a combination of all of the above.

That, and the reminder to take everything one day at a time, one moment at a time.  Because when I try to take it in all at once?  That's when I teeter on the brink of insanity.

So here's to 38 being a year of taking steps, however small, away from the edge.

For the grand occasion, Ralph got me my favorite kind of roses (sterling), and they smell heavenly.  Thanks honey!

2012 Can Suck It But I'm Still Not Making Any Resolutions

(source)

I totally forgot that the world was supposed to end today until Ralph mentioned something about it this morning.  That now means that everyone is going to have to face the reality of another year coming upon us, like it or not.

Twenty-twelve was not quite a total disaster, but I'm not sorry to see it go.  Looking back at my posts for the year (there aren't many of them) I can see the depression and deep sadness seeping through.  I'd like to be able to work on having less of that in 2013, but there's only so much I can control.  I know, I know, positive thinking and all that.  But when depression sucks you so far down into the muck, it's a bit hard to keep an upbeat view of it all.  And when life dumps a whole truck full of lemons on you, it's all you can do just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I think what I have to do is just LET GO.  Let go of any expectations of what this coming year might bring.  Let go of trying to control all difficult situations that might arise (and I'm sure there will be plenty), and let go of trying to solve all my problems of the past, present, and future and JUST BE.  (Oooh, do I sound all new-agey?)

I can't look ahead to 2013 yet because I'm just trying to focus on the next five minutes.  I think I only have the capacity right now to focus only on taking the next step.  And maybe that's just what I'm supposed to be doing.  Maybe in this season of my life, that's the best thing for me to do, so that I don't get so overwhelmed with what's ahead.  So no resolutions this year, and no picking a word or anything like that. (Although, I suppose if I picked simple ones like "breathe" or "blink" I might be successful.) Don't get me wrong, I like the idea, and I know it's good motivation to set goals for yourself.  I look forward to reading about other people's goals/words for the upcoming year.  It's just not for me right now, not this year.

I think my main goal for 2013 is to try and make it through the year without stressing too much about stuff that is completely beyond my control.  That, and allowing myself to not set high (read: unrealistic) goals and instead focus on just taking care of myself, even if that means not having a clear idea of what direction I want my life to take right now.  I think this will also help me appreciate the good things I do have in life, like a supportive husband, good friends, my health, a good job, and many, many little joys that pop up every day.

And if I can keep from having a nervous breakdown?  Added bonus.

I'm Number 1. Great.

Here's a hint:

(source)

I don't even want to be on this list, let alone be at the top.

Spring Has Sprung, and So Have the Torts

(image source)



Long time no post.


We've been too busy trying to soak up this nice, mild weather while we can until we're forced inside by the scorching temperatures to come.


Last week was actually unseasonably cool around these here parts. And rainy. Oh, how I love the rain. It's such a rarity in SoCal. Having been a Californian for most of my life, however, even one day without sun is a bit unsettling. That's why I'm so happy that the warm weather is finally here! (Notice I said WARM. I'm not looking forward to the blistering hot weather that's in the near future...)



Believe it or not, these are lovely temperatures in the Inland Empire. It's so dry that 90° feels like 75° with a breeze. (Almost.)



And look who just woke up from their long winter's nap!


sunning and hydrating


Ralph's been preparing their outdoor space while they've been hibernating. Lots of retrofitting, as these suckers are delicate. They have a 95% morbidity rate in the wild!! Yikes!

More pictures of the tortoise enclosure to come.

How You Like Me Now?

I meant to post a Monday Musings or Monday Makeup post yesterday, but Daylight Savings kicked my arse. Well, I guess that's not quite accurate. What really happened is Standard Time captured my body and held it hostage, not letting me fall asleep on Sunday night and then reminding me at the already ungodly hour of 3:30 AM (when my alarm goes off) that it was really only 2:30 and that I should either go back to sleep or have a pity party and start crying. Needing an income to survive, I chose option number 2, heaved myself out of bed, and started getting ready for work. I barely had enough energy to function yesterday.

And while there is not enough coffee on the planet to help me with my time-change hangover, this song did pump me up this morning. I think I heard on the radio that it was one of the Yo Gabba Gabba character's birthdays today, and it immediately made me think of this commercial. One of my faves.





Here's the song in its entirety:





I'm also lovin' this song right now. Another good one to help shake the cobwebs from the brain in the morning.





I am going to sing both of these songs while dancing on Standard Time's grave. Happy Tuesday everyone.

Running and Digging Holes

(source)

In the book, Holes, Stanley has to dig a five-foot deep, five-foot wide hole every day. His fellow diggers tell him, "The first hole is the worst." Yet, the second day his body is screaming in pain from the first day and his hands are all bloody and can barely hold the shovel. Another kid tells him, "The second hole is the worst." The third day, yup, "The third hole is the worst." And so on. Until finally someone says, "The next hole is always the worst."

Always the next hole. The one you have to anticipate is the worst, not the one you've already dug.

That's how I feel about running lately. I used to run. A lot. I was on the track and cross country team, I ran half marathons and even did a full 26.2 once.

Nowadays? Having to get up at 3:30 in the morning for work has pretty much ceased any consistency with my workouts. (I've always done better in the morning.) I've been trying to run when I get home, and let me tell you, getting out the door is pure torture. And so is the 20 or so minutes I'm forcing myself to run.

I know I did this to myself, not keeping it up. I hope one day my body remembers that it liked running at one point in my life. I hope that one day it will not make me want to cry every time I look at my watch during a run and realize I'm not even halfway done. I hope that I will someday actually feel more in shape than out of shape.

Until then, I just have to face the fact that the next run is always the worst.

Until it's finally not.

Empty

Holy moly.

I think this is the first time since I started working at my current job six years ago that I have had an EMPTY inbox!! Had to take a screen shot to commemorate it since it will probably be another six years before it happens again. Kind of like a lunar eclipse...

Happy Friday!

Limited Medium

I came across this quote the other day on the Nester's site and thought it was apropos to my life right now.

Much of the beauty that arises in art comes from the struggle the artist wages with his limited medium.

—Matisse

Well, the limited medium part, anyway. Seems like my life doesn't quite make good blog fodder, so I haven't had much to write lately. I have to hope, though, that if I continue to try and make posts out of nothing but ordinary, everyday type stuff, that somehow some beauty will come from creating them.

Does anyone else feel like their lives are just too boring to write about?

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

(source)

(title of post from Jobs' often-quoted commencement address given at Stanford University in 2005)

Attempted Murder

What can I say? I amuse easily.



(original source unknown, as it's been floating around everywhere. I found it on my friend's Facebook page.)

So I updated my blog and header a day early. Partially because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween and can't wait to decorate and dress up and eat lots and lots of candy.

And partially because I'm kind of ready for September to be over. The beginning of school and football practice always bring total chaos, and I'm ready to settle into the routine. That and I'm ready to be done shelling out big bucks for everything from back-to-school clothes to fundraisers to football gear. (Oh, I know, that stuff never stops, it just seems like September tends to drain us faster than most months.)

Coincidentally, Heather at Dooce made an observation about September on her blog yesterday. It totally makes sense to me, and is something I hadn't thought about before. Go check it out.


Here's to Halloween, cooler weather (only 90° today, woo hoo!) and loads and loads of candy.

Happy Little Trees

(image source)

As a kid I remember that on Saturday afternoons, after there were no more cartoons or Abbot and Costello movies, Bob Ross could be found creating his paintings with "happy little trees." I was always amazed at how quickly he could create a painting and make it look so easy.

I always found him a bit odd, but in a nice, grandfatherly, harmless kind of way. Some compared him to Mr. Rogers.

During my teens, I took great pleasure in seeing that MTV mainstreamed Bob Ross as well.






The other day I came upon this picture and it just made me smile, remembering those days of watching him create his landscapes of happy little trees.

(image source unknown)

Guess I'm not the only one who remembers him fondly. Or oddly.

Happy Birthday Google

from the Google site itself

Google is 13 years old today.


I remember vividly a conversation I had with a computer programmer probably around the time Google came into being. I was getting my teaching credential at the time, and I was trying to gather information for various papers I was writing for my classes. I recounted to him that I had spent quite a while on the computers at the college library trying (unsuccessfully) to find sources and other info.

I remember telling him that I didn't think this World Wide Web thing was really going to take off. There wasn't that much information on it, and what articles I could find were only in bits and pieces. I was not very impressed.


At least I never claimed to be a forward thinker.


Or someone with more than two brain cells.

Not Exactly Urban

Click on picture to enlarge.

I often forget how aggie parts of the IE are. We had some interesting spectators at the scrimmage last night. They didn't seem too bothered that there were lots of loud children so close to their habitat.

I'm sure the kids that go to that school don't even notice them anymore.

Me on the other hand? I was a bit bothered by all the flies that seem to accompany them. And let's not even talk about the smell.

Ugh-ust

The last day of July brought a lovely surprise: rain.

In the desert.


In the middle of the summer.

(loving the raindrops on top of the pool)

That NEVER happens.



I mean, it actually poured.

Can you tell I haven't deadheaded the flowers in a while?

I know to most people in the country this is a daily occurrence in the summer, but here, it's practically unheard of. And it brought the temps down to around 75°, much cooler than the usual 95°+. It was so refreshing.



And then August had to get all uppity and start herself off with her usual icky-ness:


If the little brat follows her usual recourse, we have an entire month of triple-digit temperatures to look forward to.

A month with heat so intense that it literally saps every bit of energy (plus my will to live) out of my body. (Have I mentioned that we don't use the AC?)


And the worst part? August usually bullies September into following suit.


Just shoot me now.

History of Rap

I happen to love Justin Timberlake. I think he's funny, talented, and I love that he's always willing to poke fun of himself. I'd heard about the History of Rap (2) song he did with Jimmy Fallon (also love!) earlier this week and finally came upon the video. It's pretty awesome.

Here's the first History of Rap for your enjoyment.

And I just have to throw in my favorite JT sketch of all time, one that is near and dear to my heart because I have three stepsons of my own. (And I'm sure they're happy that no time they've ever spent with me has required leotards and heels.)

Have a great weekend everyone.

Still Life at Work

I call it "Waiting for Lunch"

Yes, I need to find more productive things to do with my time.

I'm not the kind of blogger that plans my posts ahead of time in nice, organized themes. I'm more of the last-minute, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, procrastinating type. That's why most of my posts have the label "random bits" and usually have no rhyme or reason. Kind of like the rest of my life. Often it seems like my life is just a series of random bits somehow strung together in a way that makes absolutely no sense to me. Same with the thoughts in my head. Hence the following list (and name of this blog):


• Yesterday I was chased by no less than four dogs on my run. One got close enough to scratch my leg. Now I know why everyone I see out for an evening walk is carrying sticks. There is one woman who even walks with a golf club. I bought pepper spray.


• Lately I've had all these memories popping up out of nowhere about embarrassing things that happened to me in the past. I hate reliving those cringe-worthy times. Like the time I gave a presentation in my Spanish class about Japanese fighting fish only to find out later that it was supposed to be about Latino culture. Obviously my Spanish wasn't up to par.


• Recently I came across a quote in a magazine article by Eric Schmidt, the CEO of Google:

"Every two days we create as much information as we did from the dawn of time until 2003."

That kind of blew my mind.



• David Hasselhoff claims to have magical powers. He recorded a message to a boy in a coma, and when the boy's parents played the recording, the boy immediately woke up. Apparently the Hoff claims to have proof of this happening all over the world. There is so much to love about that man.


• We've put a lot of energy into fixing up the yard with a nice, luscious lawn for the dogs complete with shady trees yet Blue still insists on laying on the 105° cement in direct sun.


• I'm about three months behind in planting flowers in the garden. (If/when I finally do decide to plant them, I'm sure Blue will pick that as his new favorite place to cop a squat.)


• I have no idea what I'm doing in this picture from our recent trip up north but it looks like I have to go to the bathroom.



I also look like a bag lady.


*Edited to add:

I just input my blog into Wordle to see what would come up, and yes, it's just as random as everything else on here. (Also, I apparently type like I talked in the 80s since "like" is the biggest [i.e. most often-used] word on there.)

Yes! I'm Not Alone!

55% of the population agree with me that the color orange is simply hideous.










I don't know why I loathe orange so much. I like it in nature, but not anywhere else. It would literally keep me from buying something I REALLY wanted, even if it was the coolest thing in the world and was the only one left. You know why it's the only one left? Cause it's orange!

Read more about the study here. The funny thing is that I originally found it on the site, How About Orange, which I like, except for the fact that she loves orange.

When Harry Met Sally 2

I just found this on Funny or Die and thought it was absolutely hysterical. I almost love it more than the original.

When Harry Met Sally 2 with Billy Crystal & Helen Mirren from Billy Crystal