Invisible

(source)

I came across this yesterday on Life in a Pink House. I think all moms (and step moms, and dads, step dads, caregivers, etc.) need this kind of assurance every now and then.

The Invisible Mother
attributed to Nicole Johnson

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

Someday

(source, although I don't know the origin of the quote)

“The Time Is Always Right To Do What Is Right.”

"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal."


"If we are to have peace on earth, our loyalties must become ecumenical rather than sectional. Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective."

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"

"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better."

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love."

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."

"It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”


“It does not matter how long you live, but how well you do it.”

"Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better."

All photos are from Beaumont Enterprise.com.

All quotes are Dr. King's.

Teaching our Daughters (and Sons)

Saw this on a friend's Facebook page.

I keep seeing this pop up lately and like the message:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

Most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration.

Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise… Life is like an old-time rail journey — delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

Jenkins Lloyd Jones

“Big Rock Candy Mountains”
Deseret News, June 12, 1973, A4

Commas Save Lives

Today's public service announcement:

(source)

Yeah, That Sounds About Right

"Truth is, the teenage brain is like a Ferrari: It's sleek, shiny, sexy, and fast, and it corners really well. But it also has really crappy brakes."

- Judith Newman, "What's Really going On Inside Your Teen's Head," Parade, November 28, 2010

(found in Middle Ground, Feb 2011)

What Teachers Make

I was at an educator's tech conference on Friday and one of the sessions started their presentation with this video. It was seriously awesome.

Phenomenal Woman

I was thinking about the poem Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou and looked it up so I could read it to myself when I feel down. I especially love the first stanza. I also happened across many great quotes of hers and thought I'd compile some here. And paste them onto anything that will stand still so I can always see her powerful words.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.



"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."



"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."



"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."



"Courage: the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently."



"You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody."



"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
(similarly: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.")




''The quality of strength lined with tenderness is an unbeatable combination, as are intelligence and necessity when unblunted by formal education.''




"...if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well."



"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning "Good morning" at total strangers.''
(Oops, gotta remember this one.)




''I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.''



"A Woman in harmony with her spirit
is like a river flowing.
She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination
prepared to be herself
and only herself "



On her writing process:
When I'm writing, I keep a hotel room. I have everything taken off the walls, and I bring in yellow pads, a Roget's Thesaurus, a dictionary, a Bible, a deck of cards and a bottle of sherry. I sit at a little table and play solitaire... My grandmother used to say when I was young, "You know, that's not even on my littlest mind." And so I determined that the human being has a big mind and a little mind. The cards occupy my little mind so I can get to the big mind and hear the language.



"You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have."



"Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for."



"Whining is not only graceless, but it can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the neighborhood."



"Living well is an art that can be developed: a love of life and ability to take great pleasure from small offerings and assurance that the world owes you nothing and that every gift is exactly that, a gift. "



"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return."



"No Matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."



"Love life. Engage in it. Give it all you've got. Love it with a passion because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it."

Keep Walking

(source)

I came across this text the other day from an article about doubt that Ralph passed along to me. I thought it fit well for dealing with depression as well.

All of us walk into that [dark] valley from time to time. Some of us spend a great deal of time there. But when you find yourself in that valley where all is uncertain and you are sorely tempted to give in to your doubts, fears and worries, remember these two words. Keep walking. Just keep walking. Nothing is gained by camping out in the valley of darkness. The only way out is to keep on walking. Every step forward is a way to “doubt your doubts.” Soon enough the light will shine again.


Just keep walking.

Anthem

I just came across this awesome quote, part of the lyrics of a song called Anthem by Leonard Cohen.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in

I found it on a website called Hooked on Houses. In this particular post, Elizabeth Edwards' house was being shown, and the quote was on her kitchen wall. As another reader explained, “Elizabeth said that it was to remind her that nobody has perfect lives and that we have a choice about how we integrate the imperfect parts into our lives.”

Love that.

The day before she passed away (just a week ago), she wrote this on her Facebook page:

You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces - my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. [...] And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human.

Being human. Cracks and all.

I like this live version of the song.





Here are the full lyrics.

Anthem

The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government --
signs for all to see.

I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up
a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.

Ring the bells that still can ring ...

You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.

I saw this over at the Nesting Place today and remembered how much I like this movie and it's theme:

Life is what you make of it.

Another Poem on Writing

Again from Charles Bukowski. I found a quote of his recently that I really thought described his poetry style perfectly.

"My contribution was to loosen and simplify poetry, to make it more humane. I made it easy for them to follow. I taught them that you can write a poem the same way you can write a letter, and that there need not be anything necessarily holy about it."

Writing

often it is the only
thing
between you and
impossibility.
no drink,
no woman's love,
no wealth
can
match it.
nothing can save
you
except
writing.
it keeps the walls
from
failing.
the hordes from
closing in.
it blasts the
darkness.
writing is the
ultimate
psychiatrist,
the kindliest
god of all the
gods.
writing stalks
death.
it knows no
quit.
and writing
laughs
at itself,
at pain.
it is the last
expectation,
the last
explanation.
that's
what it
is.

Old Farmer's Advice

I found this great list on Layla's blog, The Lettered Cottage, this morning. It's got a lot of sound advice, as well as things to make you smile. Enjoy.


Old Farmers Advice

• Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

• Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

• Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

• A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

• Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

• Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

• Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

• Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

• It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

• You cannot unsay a cruel word.

• Every path has a few puddles.

• When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

• The best sermons are lived, not preached.

• Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

• Don't judge folks by their relatives.

• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

• Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

• Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

• The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

• Always drink upstream from the herd.

• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

(image source)