Not Me! Monday

MckMama isn't posting her usual carnival of Not Me! Monday today, as she is on a break as well as having a very sick newborn. But I have a lot to get off my chest, so I figured I'd post anyway. Normally, you could link back to My Charming Kids to see other Not Mes!, but today, instead you'll see a request for prayer for baby Stellan. I'm sure the family would appreciate it if you dropped by the site and dropped a prayer for them.

I have NOT misplaced my camera and therefore have no pictures of the past week, or of kitties, or any other photos that I would usually share. I certainly did NOT need to use Ralph's camera to photograph the boys rocking out on Guitar Hero on Christmas since I couldn't find my own.

I am NOT sick of hearing Eye of the Tiger blaring off-key from the television speakers. I am extremely happy that the boys are enjoying their Christmas present and would NEVER tell them to turn it down or turn it off completely.

I am NOT happy that Christmas is over. I am NOT thoroughly pleased that I can finally relax and not worry about the 10 extra people I unexpectedly had to buy Christmas presents for at the last minute. I am ALWAYS a cheerful giver and I never mind getting things for other people, no matter if it's Christmas Eve. And I certainly DO NOT let that get in the way of enjoying the meaning of Christmas.

Yesterday I did NOT completely miss the freeway exit while returning from the store with the boys. They did NOT have to ask if that was our exit where we were supposed to get off. I am VERY happy that they have a good sense of direction and I was NOT embarrassed at all when they informed me of my mistake. I NEVER space out when I'm driving, especially with kids in the car!

I am NOT ready to take the Christmas decorations down in order to get things clean and organized for the new year. I did NOT buy plastic storage bins yesterday to do just that.

I am NOT seriously already thinking of putting up Valentine's decorations around the house. I did NOT buy Christmas-tree ornaments in the shape of hearts yesterday. I did NOT get them at 70% off and think I was quite clever by buying cheap Christmas ornaments to decorate for Valentine's Day. Ralph did NOT tell me I was worse than the retail stores since I'm already thinking about the next holiday.

Boy, am I glad I DIDN'T do all those things! I don't think I could live with myself!

Not Me! Monday

Time for another confession session where I tell you about all the things I did NOT do!

* Last week I did NOT get a speeding ticket. I always drive the speed limit, even though I commute over 120 miles a day. I did NOT tell the officer I had no idea why he pulled me over, since I'm always self-aware when I drive, even at 4:30 AM when I start my commute.

* I did NOT have a hissy fit at the Christmas-tree farm when the boys weren't cooperating while I was trying to get a Christmas picture. I would never force anyone to stand still and smile when they would rather be running around looking for the perfect tree.

* I was NOT upset that none of the boys felt like smiling, therefore having the picture turn out with them looking like I just told them they were getting coal for Christmas. No way. I believe in truth and honesty in photography.

* I did NOT forget that the farm only accepts cash or checks, and thus did NOT make the family leave empty-handed after all the expectation and build-up of getting our tree that day.

* I was NOT secretly happy that Ralph and I went by ourselves later in the week to get the Christmas tree, saving much time and squabbling. Nope. I like having the boys involved in everything.

For more lists of things that perfect people did NOT do, head over to MckMamma's blog, My Charming Kids.

Not Me! Monday

Time for another day of listing things I did NOT do, as doing them would make me a terrible, awful person. Thank goodness I'm not like that!

• I did NOT get mad when Ralph's football game got pushed up to 8:00 AM on Thanksgiving morning, leaving me to tend to the turkey instead of him doing it. I was NOT upset whatsoever at having to do the entire dinner by myself, especially since it was the first time ever that I've hosted Thanksgiving.

• I did NOT say out loud that I was going crazy when the house filled with six unruly lively boys ready to play football on Thanksgiving morning. I did NOT tell Ralph to get the hell out of the house and take the boys with him so I could have a few moments of peace and quiet.

• I was NOT secretly happy that we were going over to Ralph's sister's house on Friday so that my dad would have a new audience to tell his stories to and my brother and I would be spared.

• I did NOT seriously consider screaming at Tweeny yesterday when he blatantly kept singing a song after I had asked him to stop. I did NOT get upset or take it personally when, after I told him that it was hard to hear the same song 50 times in a row, he told me that he had only sung it 15 times and not 50. I did NOT consider getting in a long, drawn-out argument with him just so I could win.

• I did NOT go out and buy only Christmas decorations yesterday instead of buying gifts for other people. I would never be so selfish as to put my own wants of a pretty house ahead of the spirit of giving. Nope. Not me.

• I did NOT seriously consider posting pictures on my blog this morning of one of my kitties sleeping with its face in the other kitty's butt. That would just be gross and disgusting. I am NOT considering doing it tomorrow, either.

Whew! I'm so glad I don't do any of that! What a wretched person I'd be! For more confessions of things that people did NOT do, head over to My Charming Kids and enjoy NOT being one of those people!

Not Me! Monday

I did NOT selfishly check My Charming Kids blog a million times last Monday just to see if MckMama was putting up a Not Me! post.

I did NOT wait until this week to put it up just because I thought more people would read it this way.

I was NOT two hours late to a baby shower last weekend because I was still working on the baby blanket I was giving as a gift.

I have NOT been checking the LeeLou blog and The Cutest Blog on the Block every five minutes for Thanksgiving layouts since the day after Halloween.

I did NOT ask a woman at work to bring all her leftover Halloween candy to work just so that I could eat it.

And I definitely did NOT look the other way when my youngest stepson took a running start and slid knees first into the produce section of the grocery store!

For more confessions lists of things people did NOT do, head over to My Charming Kids!

"Not Me!" Monday

This is my very FIRST "Not Me!" Monday! I am very excited to tell people about the things that I did NOT do. That would be a cathartic experience, getting it all off my chest, if I had actually done all those things. Which I didn't. Just so we're clear.


I did NOT think evil thoughts about a woman at work on Friday because she was wasting my time with useless minutia.

I did NOT walk by the cat box 25 times this weekend and see that it desperately needed to be cleaned but actively ignored it anyway.

I did NOT call the dog into the kitchen to lap up a raw egg I dropped on the floor because I was too lazy to clean it up myself.

I did NOT hide candy from the boys simply because I wanted to have it all to myself.

I did NOT, under any circumstances, wish that my two youngest stepsons would go to their mom's next weekend so we could have a couple of days of peace and quiet with no bickering.

I absolutely did NOT laugh at my youngest stepson last night when one of the kittens jumped onto his bare back and hung on with her claws.

I did NOT spend the first three hours at work this morning figuring out how to embed a slide show into my blog. That would just be criminal.


For more crazy antics that people did NOT do, head over to my charming kids.