Countdown to 40 ~ Happy Birthday!!

Dear Ralph,

Happy Birthday! You somehow survived to 40 years old, and you don't even look it :) This is my favorite virtue of yours, even though at times it seems elusive.


Even though you don't put it out on display, your family and friends see it all the time. You love your boys with such intensity that it shows in every action of yours. It also shows in the fact that you have full custody of them and fought long, hard battles to get them. I still can't believe that you would drive over 400 miles just to see them for a weekend. They are always at the forefront of your mind, right where they should be.

Even though we aren't mushy-gushy with our displays of affection, I still know you love me just by the way you keep me in your thoughts all the time. I love that when we are apart, you always call to make sure I'm safe and having fun. You always let me know I'm on your mind, and you go out of your way to be generous in ways I never thought possible.

You open your home and your heart to your family whenever you can, and you stand by them always. Nothing is ever too much to ask for someone you love, and we are all better off because of it.

Thank you for being such a loving man who cares deeply for his family and friends. I am so lucky to have you in my life, and I hope we get to spend 40 more years together.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 2 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 2 more days before you turn 40. This virtue of yours is something I appreciate on a daily basis.


No matter what, you are always willing to forgive me, or your family or friends (and often even your coworkers). You have a much more forgiving attitude than I do, and you understand people so well that you comprehend why they do the things they do and still forgive them anyway.

You truly walk your talk and forgive your brothers who sin against you (Matt. 18). Thank you for being such a good example to the rest of us and having such an amazing capacity of forgiveness. We take comfort in knowing that you love us know matter what we do wrong :)

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 3 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 3 more days until you turn 40 years old. I've known this about you since we met, and I still admire it about you now that we're together.


It seems like such an obvious trait, but so many people aren't faithful nowadays that this is really a virtue that stands out. You are also faithful to friends and family, and I know they appreciate you for that, too. Thank you for being such an upstanding man among men.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 4 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 4 more days until your 40th birthday. This next virtue of yours I am reminded of daily:


You do all the gentlemanly things such as opening my door, offering your coat when I'm cold, and helping me carry packages. You always treat me like a lady and make me feel special. And you do that for all the women in your life; mom, grandmothers, aunts.

I love that you are such a good example to the boys. They are such little gentlemen and it always brings a smile to my face when they offer their help to others and treat them with respect. Thank you for being such an upstanding gentleman.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 5 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 5 more days until your 40th birthday. One of the parts of your personality (and sense of humor!) that I love is the following:




You don't mind poking fun at yourself and this makes people comfortable around you. It's another way you show that you don't place yourself above others and don't take yourself too seriously. You crack me up everyday with something you say about yourself. I just hope you also know how wonderful you really are.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 6 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 6 more days until your 40th birthday. One thing I love about you is that you never try to be something you aren't.


You don't feel the need to pretend, and you don't tear down other people just to build yourself up. There are so many people who we deal with who do those things. (All signs of insecurity if you ask me.) Those kinds of people just make me appreciate you all the more for your integrity.

You put me and other people at ease since you don't do things just for attention. We can relax around you. It's a nice, peaceful feeling :)

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 7 Days

Dear Ralph,

I can't believe there is only a week left until your birthday! One virtue of yours that I think must have improved with age is your sensitivity to others and your ability to assess situations.


You can tell when one of the boys needs a break, or when they have been pushed too hard. You also do the same for me. You know when I'm at my limit, and you are so good at knowing when I just need to escape and take a day to myself.

You are also good at discussing consequences with the boys and granting a reprieve for time served or good behavior. The boys know that you can be reasonable and they feel comfortable coming to you to plead their case.

Thank you for helping us over our rough patches and giving us a pardon when we need it.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 8 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 8 more days until your 40th birthday. You are definitely one of a kind, and you encourage your kids to forge their own paths as well.


You never stifle your boys' creativity or uniqueness. I love how you smile when you talk about your youngest being a "free spirit" and I enjoy watching you share funny stories of the boys with other people.

Anyone can tell that you love your boys' individual characteristics, and see them as virtues to be nurtured rather than weird quirks to be suppressed.

You are such a wonderful dad.
Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 9 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 9 more days until you turn 40! There have been lots of comments made about your "old" age lately, many with the intent to embarrass. Which is why I thought of this as one of your wonderful virtues:


I know it sounds kind of silly, but it's important nonetheless. With three tween/teens in the family, it's natural that at least one of them is embarrassed by their parents at any given time. But you do a really good job of not being one of those parents who purposely embarrasses their kids.

I think a lot of people forget how hard it is to be a teenager, yet you are really cognizant of that fact. You know how important it is for kids to feel like they fit in, and you try your best to help them with that, instead of just giving a pat parent answer about how they shouldn't care what other people think. (You know that teenagers are not logical people! :)

I know the boys might not say it, but I'm sure they are also very thankful for this virtue of yours.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 10 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 10 days until your 40th birthday. The following is one of my absolute favorite things about you:


You'd think this would be obvious, but there are so many parents who see this as a chore, or who simply don't take the time to really interact with their children. You genuinely enjoy being with the boys, and have fought long, hard battles to be able to do so.

I love that you have never missed even one of their games, and have gone to every single parent conference, back-to-school night and every other school activity, even when you were a single dad and didn't really have the time. You have always made the time.

I love listening to all of you talk about your favorite activities together. Even though most of the time I don't understand what you guys are talking about, I love listening to you guys discuss everything from Warcraft to paintball.

I love that the boys call you up at work to ask you questions about their video games, knowing that you'll take the time to walk them through it. I also love that you take the time each morning to call them before they go off to school.

The bond between you guys is an amazing thing to behold. You are a truly awesome dad.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 11 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 11 days until your 40th birthday. I think this virtue of yours is something that has always been with you for all your 40 years.


You never "put on airs" or try to pretend you are bigger and better than you are. You are modest, and actually prefer when people don't shine the spotlight on you. You don't do things to gain recognition or praise, even though you often deserve both. You are definitely not a pretender, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 12 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 12 days until your 40th birthday. One more thing I love about you is the following:


No matter how schizophrenic I'm being, or how depressed I am, or how demanding, you always stand by me. You accept my faults as part of me, and never use them against me.

You never bring them up in arguments, and you help me work through my many issues with kindness and compassion. Thank you for loving all my broken pieces.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 13 Days

Dear Ralph,

In light of some, oh let's call it "interesting" news we've received lately, I definitely appreciate this attribute of yours.


I love that you don't shy away from what life throws at you. You stand and take it, not because you have to prove a point, but simply because that's who you are.

You don't let yourself get sidetracked with the pettiness of others, and instead you focus on the important things in life. Even when it's something tough, you still focus on what needs to be done. I admire this about you so much, especially since I definitely have a tendency to dwell on the minutiae. Thanks for always staying the course.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 14 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 14 days left until your 40th birthday. Each day I am reminded of this reason why I love you:


Sometimes it's not easy, but you are always looking to make us happy. Whether it's attending a family event even when you're not in the mood, saving up to get that really great gift for the boys (and you going without), or even simply giving in and letting the dogs in the house more than you'd like, I know the sacrifices you make to keep us happy. You always go that extra mile.

Thank you for always keeping us on your mind and in your heart. As always, you are a great example to the boys (and me!).

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 15 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 15 more days until you turn 40. The following quality of yours is something I am very appreciative of:


Whether I'm trying a new hairstyle, painting the walls an interesting color, or attempting a new recipe, you are always supportive of my pursuits.

You encourage me with kind words and offers of help, and sometimes even by just giving me space.

I love that you do this with the boys as well, encouraging them to try new and different things so they can gently branch out of their safety zones. I admire your love of their "free spirits" as you call them :)

Thank you for being there for me no matter what I try (and sometimes fail). It's so comforting to know you're always in my corner.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 16 Days

Dear Ralph,

While others might not quite think of this as a virtue, I love this about you nonetheless.


You've been sick the past few days with the cold that seems to be cycling nonstop through our family. You are not whiny when you are sick, and you hardly complain. That is definitely something I'm thankful for.

What you are is very cuddly, especially in your sleep. It's like you need that extra warmth and body contact to make you feel better, even subconsciously. It's as if just knowing I'm nearby helps you relax and sleep better.

I love that.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 17 Days

Dear Ralph,

Only 17 more days until your 40th birthday. As much as procrastination plays a big role in both our lives, you know when it's time to snap out of it.


You are often the catalyst to getting the important things in life done, which I really appreciate even if I whine about it at the time.

Thank you for being my get-up-and-go, my shot in the arm, the little voice that whispers in my ear, and when necessary, the searing hot cattle prod.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 18 Days

Dear Ralph,

Only 18 more days until you turn 40. And while you weren't exactly the most, uh, attentive of students in your youth, you have certainly made up for that in recent years.


I love that you don't rush out and make impulse buys, but rather read up on certain products before you hand over your hard-earned money.

I also love how you read as much information as you can about your pets in order to make our house the best environment possible for them.

You are always researching something, whether it be the best place to buy that brand-name skateboard the boys want for their birthday, or what the newest development is in certain political and social matters.

The boys see you doing all this and you are setting a great example for them. They learn from you how to search the 'net and read everything from how to perform the latest skateboarding tricks to finding maps for the closest bus routes to school. You are teaching them invaluable skills, and it's wonderful to watch.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 19 Days

Dear Ralph,

I can't believe there are only 19 days until your 40th birthday. The time is going so fast. This next virtue of yours is one I've admired since we met:


You are really good at hearing people out and listening to what they have to say. Even when you're upset, you still take the time to listen. This is something not many people have the patience for, which makes it that much more special.

Thank you for always being willing to listen to me, whether I'm stating my case, ranting and raving, or just needing to talk.

Love,
Heather

Countdown to 40 ~ 20 Days

Dear Ralph,

There are only 20 more days until you turn 40. I know the following quality has been with you since you were very young:



Whenever I marvel at something you've done, especially when it involves the boys, you always say, "Who else was going to do it?" I know that as a single dad, a lot was left up to you alone. But not all dads would have taken the extra time to do a lot of the things you did, and still do.

You know what needs to be done and you always come through when it's most needed. And you are instilling that in the boys as well. They are learning from example how to do things honorably; that's a wonderful quality to pass on to them.

Love,
Heather