2012 Can Suck It But I'm Still Not Making Any Resolutions

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I totally forgot that the world was supposed to end today until Ralph mentioned something about it this morning.  That now means that everyone is going to have to face the reality of another year coming upon us, like it or not.

Twenty-twelve was not quite a total disaster, but I'm not sorry to see it go.  Looking back at my posts for the year (there aren't many of them) I can see the depression and deep sadness seeping through.  I'd like to be able to work on having less of that in 2013, but there's only so much I can control.  I know, I know, positive thinking and all that.  But when depression sucks you so far down into the muck, it's a bit hard to keep an upbeat view of it all.  And when life dumps a whole truck full of lemons on you, it's all you can do just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I think what I have to do is just LET GO.  Let go of any expectations of what this coming year might bring.  Let go of trying to control all difficult situations that might arise (and I'm sure there will be plenty), and let go of trying to solve all my problems of the past, present, and future and JUST BE.  (Oooh, do I sound all new-agey?)

I can't look ahead to 2013 yet because I'm just trying to focus on the next five minutes.  I think I only have the capacity right now to focus only on taking the next step.  And maybe that's just what I'm supposed to be doing.  Maybe in this season of my life, that's the best thing for me to do, so that I don't get so overwhelmed with what's ahead.  So no resolutions this year, and no picking a word or anything like that. (Although, I suppose if I picked simple ones like "breathe" or "blink" I might be successful.) Don't get me wrong, I like the idea, and I know it's good motivation to set goals for yourself.  I look forward to reading about other people's goals/words for the upcoming year.  It's just not for me right now, not this year.

I think my main goal for 2013 is to try and make it through the year without stressing too much about stuff that is completely beyond my control.  That, and allowing myself to not set high (read: unrealistic) goals and instead focus on just taking care of myself, even if that means not having a clear idea of what direction I want my life to take right now.  I think this will also help me appreciate the good things I do have in life, like a supportive husband, good friends, my health, a good job, and many, many little joys that pop up every day.

And if I can keep from having a nervous breakdown?  Added bonus.

Wuurd. 2012.

I was still having a heck of a time picking my word and had basically decided to give up when I noticed that Layla was having a link up party.

I thought that this would be good accountability for me if I put it out there for others to see. So I mustered up what brain power I could and finally came up with

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It's funny, because that word was on my original list but I had completely forgotten about it.

Focusing on anything has always been hard for me. I get sidetracked easily and never end up finishing half of what I start out to do. I figure by actually focusing on well, focusing, it might help me to stay on whatever path I take this year.

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One thing I've noticed about myself is that I suck at multitasking. I really can't focus on more than one thing at once. Well, at least not anything important. I can fold laundry and watch Real Housewives at the same time just fine.

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I think I get nervous about focusing because I think I'll get bored or won't know what to focus on in life. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? But I think I try to fill my attention with a bunch of different things because, really, I don't know what the focus of my life should be right now. I'm avoiding thinking about it. Well, time to stop avoiding.

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I hope this process won't be too painful, but in a sense, all growth requires a bit of growing pains, right? I want to look forward to this year as a year of growth. And possibly a year of discovery. And that can only be achieved if I really focus on what's going on.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

I hope you all had a great holiday season and are starting January with pleasant memories. I always expect January to start with a bang, as if I'm going to accomplish all my goals for the year in the next couple of days. Ha! I'm not even setting any resolutions this year, as I know my past track record, and it's pretty dismal. Although last year I did do pretty well at the 21-day challenge at A Bowl Full of Lemons. I definitely need something like that to keep me on track. This year, though, I see as more of a contemplative, slower-paced year. Not sure why, but I do. Anyway, before I get to waxing more about that, I just wanted to share a few pics from Christmas. It was quite relaxing this year. Right up my alley.

I decorated a bit, but didn't feel the need to go all out.

Just a bit on the mantle,

some lights to cozy up the place,

and some greenery thrown around a bit here and there.

Understated but still festive. And a whole lot easier to clean up.

We started off the holidays by getting to babysit some cutie patooties (aka little brothers)

and then hosted Christmas Eve for some of Ralph's family.

Lots of laughs were had by all

even if the teenagers didn't want to admit it.

Christmas day brought lots of silver and black, natch.

And wait, are those actual smiles on teenagers' faces??

Oh, yeah, especially since they got the video games they wanted. [Side note: Teen 2 said that one of his friends asked him why he didn't buy the newest video game right when it came out. He replied, "Why buy it with my own money when I can just wait for Christmas and get it for free?" Smart kid.]

So lots of family time

accompanied by lots of food

(one of my few culinary successes, wish I'd taken pics of Ralphs' AWESOME pozole)

left us all fat and happy.

Looking ahead to 2012, I've tried to do what some others have done and pick a word for the year to focus on. Words like "believe," "love," "simplify," and "look" tend to be bandied about. I've tried to think of one, and even came up with a list, but none seem to just jump out at me. I think I'll need longer to contemplate it. I know most people do this before the new year starts, so they're all ready. Being the procrastinator that I am, I'm behind as usual. But since I have the feeling that this year is going to be a more slowly-moving, (hopefully that means peaceful?) year, I'm not going to get to worked up about it. Some of the words I've come up with so far are:

seek

purpose

do

trust

fearless

choose

rejoice

believe

create

focus

clarity

calm

strength

Do any of you do this? How do you go about picking a word? Or does the word pick you? In either case, happy picking, and Happy New Year.

Lower Your Standards

I always aim too high with my New Year's resolutions.

That just sets me up for failure.

This is probably more realistic for me:

Allie has a good idea, too.